OMGOSH OMGOSH OMGOSH!I actually just got back from seeing a pre screening of Infinity War, so let me just say: It's amazing. Stellar. Worldwide phenomenon. However, let me just get these spoilers off of my chest:
1. Iron Man loses an arm!
2. The Orange Stone is in Wakanda!
3. Thanos does not die :(
4. Thanos gets 5 Infinity Stones
These are the people who die (Brace yourself):
Hulk
Loki
Valkyrie
Wong
Heimdall
Doctor Strange
Bucky
the Collector
Drax
Nebula
Hawkeye's family
Plot:
The movie opens with Thanos torturing the Collector for info on the Aether, last seen in his possession. He kills him and leaves with the Aether, leaving his cult, the Black Order, to deal with it. He goes tracking down another stone: the Tesseract.
Thanos has already destroyed all of Xandar and gotten the Power Stone.
Thanos comes aboard Thor's ship (Where the Tesseract is) and kills several people, most notably Valkyrie and Heimdall, to get the Space Stone. Thanos punches Hulk all the way to Earth, where he falls into the Sanctum Sanctorum and transforms back into Bruce Banner. He kills Loki and gets the Tesseract. Thor is floating in space and bumps into the Guardians ship. They bring him aboard and he wakes up and tells them what happened. The Guardians split up: Thor, Rocket, and Groot all go to get a new weapon for Thor (He lost his lightning powers). All the others go to Earth to warn them.
Thor, Rocket, and Groot get to a new planet, where Thor makes his new weapon, Stormbreaker. While there, Thor gets a new eye.
Meanwhile, members of the Black Order go to get the Infinity Stones.
At the Sanctum Sanctorum, Doctor Strange and Wong investigate and find Banner and alert Iron Man.Spider-Man is on his bus to school when a giant doughnut ship appears from the sky and wreaks havoc. He instantly leaps out and goes to get it, where he meets up with Strange, Wong, Iron Man, and Banner.
Doctor Strange uses the Time Stone to reverse the damage of the doughnut ship and Iron Man leaves Banner with Strange and Wong. Iron Man gives Spidey the new Iron Spider suit and go up to investigate the doughnut ship, that leaves before they can catch up to it.
Meanwhile, the Black Order has hunted down Vision and seriously injured him before being stopped by Black Widow, Captain America, Falcon, and Scarlet Witch. Black Widow kills a Black Order, Proxima Midnight, and they all leave to Wakanda (With the other Avengers, after first asking Ant-Man, who declines), the only place with the tech to heal Vision and extract the stone from his head.
Shuri is able to do so, making it so that there are two Infinity Stones in Wakanda (The Orange one was in Wakanda the whole time!). Scarlet Witch and Vision (Now human without the stone), leave and retire in a small farm next to Hawkeye's house.
Oh yeah. Hawkeye. Bummer about him. A member of the Crossbones' organization actually killed his family after the events of Civil War. He goes on a seriously dark path and goes to Japan, where he trains with a sword and adopts a new code name: Ronin.
In Wakanda, a member of the Black Order has summoned an army to get the two stones. Banner, Widow, Captain America, Hulk, Black Panther, Okoye, War Machine, Bucky, and Falcon go with the nation's army and attack the attacking army. The Black Order kills Hulk (But not Banner; they were separated by the Soul Stone), which is incredible sad, and with the rest of Wakanda's army. They are subdued by Bucky, who is able to block them off course by setting off a grenade, killing himself in the process.
Meanwhile, Wong, Iron Spider, Iron Man, and Doctor Strange all go to investigate the doughnut ship, which has reappeared. They are attacked by Ebony Maw and Corvus Glaive, who kills Wong and Doctor Strange for the Time Stone (Via floating ice shards).
Spidey and Iron Man are taken to Thanos' home world, Titan (I think that's what it was named), and engage an empowered Thanos, with the Guardians of the Galaxy and Thor. Thanos easily kills Drax and Nebula, who tried to engage him in hand to hand combat.
Thanos easily crushes them (Figuratively), even going as far to slice Iron Man's arm off (Yowza). He then uses the 6/6 Infinity Stones to punch the ground, causing fissures, with one that seemingly swallows the Milano (With Mantis inside, who turns out okay), and Thor (Who breaks free). They go after Thanos, jumping obstacles and whatnot, and after an epic battle sequence, Thanos kills Captain America, who, as he dies, takes the Infinity Gauntlet, tosses it to Iron Man, who then uses the Space stone to send Thanos to the Phantom Zone (Housekept by Stan Lee).It then ends, with a statement about how the Avengers, Spider-Man, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and others will appear in Infinity War's sequel, Avengers: Disassembled.
Consensus:
Amazing. Thrill ride. Startling. These are words that I would use to describe this movie.
However, there is but one problem.... I haven't seen it.
Happy April Fools'!
Comments
Post a Comment