Alright. It's that time again. I'm running low on ideas, so here's some crowd-pleasing hating on the Last Jedi.1. Over Marketization of the Vulptex
Alright. You probably don't remember what a Vluptex is. They're those crystal fox things.They didn't have a huge role in the movie, and were certainly much less important than you were led to believe from the marketing.
Every single ad seemed to have a Vulptex, and for nothing except for merchandising. I actually did like the Porgs, however.
Porgs were over marketed but gave us enough appropriately cute scenes in the film.
2. Saving the slave horses, but not the slave children
This was silly. The movie tried to send a message about animal cruelty, yet failed to also send a message about child cruelty. Seriously, they just leave the slave children and free the horses.Another weird message was the Casino Planet. They say everyone there got rich from selling weapons/slavery. Was that a veiled reference to America's economy and past?
3. If Rey's not a Skywalker, why did Luke's lightsaber call her?
In the Force Awakens, Luke's lightsaber calls Rey to that cellar in Maz Kanata's home.However, in the Last Jedi, Rey is revealed to not be a Skywalker, so I guess she's just drawn to things for specific plot points?
4. Poe Dameron is completely wasted
Poe Dameron in the Force Awakens was a pretty cool Han Solo-Indiana Jones type of dude.In the Last Jedi, however, he lets most of the Resistance die, talked back to (Questionable) authority, and started that sideplot, and basically anything he did was wrong.
5. Vice Admiral Holdo
This purple haired admiral was definitely one of the worst parts of the movie. When she says she can't tell them the plan, it really takes you out of the moment.You realize, "Why isn't she telling them?" and think that she's evil, or that the plan is super important or secret. And then it was literally booping over to the next base over?
It was very silly and an awful way to build up something that could have been potentially interesting. You realize it was only in there to add an hour to the run time and give Poe and Finn something to do.
And, when you think about it, without her, the movie would've been 40 minutes shorter, clocking in at 1h 50 mins instead 2h 30 mins. So it got it to blockbuster length, but it was stupid.
6. Rose Tico
So, Rose was obviously only in here for diversity and a device. Her being Asian isn't a problem, but the character is a huge problem. For one thing, if they were going for Empire Strikes Back she and Finn should have been Han and Leia.And yet they have no chemistry or anything.
She tells him what to do and reprimands him for being selfish. For trying to save Rey.
Trying to save someone isn't selfish. In fact, I would say that trying to save someone you care about it one of the best causes one can be a part of.
7. Rose saves Finn
In the climax of the film, Finn is going to sacrifice himself to save Rey. This was the moment. The time. An actual character moment in the film, not because because, not because of feminism, because Finn genuinely wanted to save everyone.And then, psych. Expectations are subverted! Again!
8. Feminism and Diversity
In that film, Mulan is at a real physical disadvantage. It's a real thing. But she gets stronger and proves herself an equal by proving she is competent, and works with the men to defeat the main threat of the film.
In the Last Jedi, the opposite happens.
Rey becomes strong/stronger than the male Force users with basically no effort. And every woman in the film is right, while the [White] male character is wrong.Rose Tico telling Finn that he's selfish because he wants to save Rey (Citation needed), Vice Admiral Holdo telling Poe that he's wrong because he wants to know the plan.
He needs to submit to the female commander. And ultimately, there's not a real reason to not tell them the plan.
The ultimate message of the film is, women are stronger and better than men, and men should just submit to them because they said so.
That's not how equality works.
Equality should work by not putting down anyone, but instead by raising up everyone. For equality to happen, no one should be shafted. And that's something a lot of feminist things miss. Mulan, however, has a message of working together and tolerance.
(Vito did a great video on this)
9. Leia Organa is kept in a coma
Carrie Fisher died. And that is sad. However, you know that walking into the movie theater. You see her get bombed into space, and you are prepared to say goodbye.But then, no, she's okay. And she is in a coma. They brought her back for an extremely minimal role. And that was weird.
10. Leia Organa is Mary Poppins
So, this is a meme. Leia as Mary Poppins. Go look it up. Like, it was cool to learn she had the force, but it should've been in a different way. Like, if she has the force, why doesn't she save any one else? Or stop the ship from exploding, freeze the bullet Kylo Ren style? And the way she floats...
11. Chewbacca, R2-D2, and C-3PO are sidelined
This is a HUGE complaint of mine. Like, Chewbacca (4:15) has less screen time than DJ. And R2 has a minute and a half of screentime. Seriously?3PO had 2:30. For some of the most important characters in the franchise, they, combined, have 8 minutes and 10 seconds.
Chewbacca alone in the last movie had more screen time.
Technically 3PO and R2 got more screentime from TFA, but less than a minute more.
12. Rey is overpowered
Looping back to feminism: if I were to draw a character arc for Rey, it would look more like a straight line:/
Literally nothing bad ever happens to her. She never didn't accomplish what she was trying to do. Luke wasn't able to save Obi-Wan, or Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.
She also seems to be a Chosen One. But most Chosen Ones have to have something go really wrong to be relatable. Rey lost Han Solo, but that's a standard at this point, 42 years after A New Hope.
We need more to a Chosen One. Aquaman is simply fun. Ender Wiggin caused the xenocide of an entire race. Harry Potter had to go through 6 years of school, 5 of which the man who killed his parents tried to kill him.
Rey, meanwhile, just has the standard death of a father figure. It happens to nearly everyone. Simba, Aladdin, Anna, Elsa, Batman, Iron Man, Luke Skywalker, the Flash, Superman (2x), Sam Raimi's Spider-Man (3x), or Tom Holland's Spider-Man (3x). Yet all of those people have conflicts.
Bonus round!
Simba: Believed it was his fault his dad died for 20 years before he found out it was his uncle.
Superman: Father died of heart attack
Spider-Man: Has to deal with the power gap left by Tony Stark dying
Batman: Parents were killed in front of him, resulting in years of training
And Rey... Rey saw Han die? Okay, but she knew him for, like, a day. Oh, and her parents abandoned her, for some reason. Oh wait, they were drunkards. They didn't know better.
Those aren't real conflicts. The first two traumatizing experiences would be a lot more impact if it was related to her family. Instead, it's random people she never really knew. And she doesn't really have a revenge quest. She has more of an acceptance quest.Like Luke in Empire, but Luke was trying to save his dad, who killed Luke's parent figures. Rey is trying to save her frenemy.
13. The film has an hour long subplot that goes no where
Okay, so I don't have an exact time, but 42 minutes into the film, we see Finn, Rose, and Poe start a subpelot. The subplot concludes at 1:55, so that's a solid hour and ten minutes, so more like half an hour of disposable footage.
And the overall message of the sideplot is devoting yourself to a larger cause.
However, Finn was already willing to go on one of the greatest causes ever: Saving his friend.
Literally as soon as he wakes up, he wants to go rescue Rey. And then they say "no, that's not good?" I saw a thing where the purpose was to devote Finn to the rebel cause fully. And yeah, he wasn't completely committed at the end of the film, but then they ruined that! Rose saved him!He would sacrifice himself, but no, it's for true love, which wasn't even hinted or developed during their hour long subplot! Perhaps if the subplot had turned Rose into a beloved character, instantly iconic, then it would be okay, but no. She's still a boring character.
14. the underuse of Captain Phasma
One big complaint everyone had from the Force Awakens was the Captain Phasma was underused. Star Wars' first female villain!But in the film, she was very stiff and robotic. Her fate was left vague at then end of the film, but in the Last Jedi, they bring her back! Pleasant surprise! Tell us more! Psych! She dies... again. Why even bring her back? I dunno.
15. The humor falls flat
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| A great Closer Look at this |
When Star Wars is funny, it's because the characters were saying those.
C-3PO talking about dying. Classic.
Leia being witty. Classic.
Han not caring. Classic.
Yoda being weird. Classic.
Unintentional Prequel hilarity? Classic.
But the Last Jedi tried to shove some Marvel quips in there, which isn't what Star Wars does. It's what Marvel does. And it works for Marvel because a) it fits those characters, and b) it fits those actors, and c) they are movies about superheroes. They're already silly.Robert Downey Jr. does very well with quips, even making bad ones seem funny. But the Last Jedi demonstrates how to not quip. Don't make it stupid.
And, Star Wars isn't silly. It has had its share of stupid decisions, but they're nothing silly. Most movies are well acted dramas about friends and family turning on each other. That's not silly.
16. Luke just... dies...
So, Luke just dies? That's it? He has one big fight he wasn't technically present for, and then he's done with life? He just dies for no reason? That was stupid. For him to die nonchalantly and for no reason better be resolved in the Rise of Skywalker, or I revolt. Again.17. Luke Skywalker is a completely different character
This was such a big inconsistency I almost had an entirely different post about this. But in this movie, Luke is the Anti-Luke. The face of heroism since 1977, let's review some of Luke's actions in the OT. Luke destroyed the Death Star.Luke destroyed an AT-AT.
Luke was willing to let the entire Jedi die just because he had a dream that his friends were in trouble. Luke saved Han from Jabba the Hutt.
Luke tried to save his father, even after he had cut off Luke's hand. Because he still saw good in him.But in the Last Jedi, Luke has another dream.
His nephew is going to be evil. So he... considers killing him? And then, after he turns evil, and it's Luke's fault, he just decides to do nothing? He strands himself on an island for 20 years? And it's the same character?
18. Thala-Sirens
So this was just a really weird scene where Luke milked a Thala-Siren and then drank it's breast milk. It was really weird.19. That's not how hyperspace works
And for some reason, it's soundless? It was cool, but I'm pretty sure it defies some Star Wars lore out there. And it ruins future space battles! When having an epic fight, we'll be thinking, why not just kamikaze yourself into that thing?
20. Force Projections
I thought some of the new Force tricks in the Force Awakens were pretty cool. Freezing bullets, freezing people, Force torture, it was a lot of cool stuff we had never seen before. But it made sense, and it was cool, and not that essential to understanding the plot.
But in the Last Jedi, we get Force holograms, which for some reason, exist. After doing research, apparently Yoda and Dooku had one, and some dudes from Rebels had one. But in the Last Jedi, they are mostly used as a phone device so Kylo Ren and Rey can talk to each other while saving a confrontation for the climax.
It was really confusing how it was explained, and if it exists, why is this the first movie to deal with it? Why did Anakin Skywalker, who had more Midi-Chlorians than Yoda, not have one?
It was stupid.
21. Snoke is underdeveloped
The big set up from TFA, who is that hologram?, is nothing. In the Last Jedi, he's wearing a gold robe.
He's less menacing and yet still a total mystery. Who is he? Where did he come from? Why is he here? What is his relation to Kylo Ren?
All not answered. And he was being set up for something cool. But what it looks like is Rian Johnson took the new badguy and killed him, so now J.J. Abrams has to go dig up Palpatine to be the villain of Episode IX. That's kind of rude.
But in all seriousness, why not bring back Jar-Jar? That would be epic.
22. "It's like Empire."
You probably heard this a lot when the movie first came out. "The darkest chapter in the Saga since Empire," "The best one since Empire," and a lot of other stuff. But there's a reason it's like Empire.Because like the Force Awakens, they basically lifted the plot from Empire.
The snow planet, the AT-ATs, a Jedi training subplot, a force ghost telling Luke what to do, a sunken X-Wing, scary force visions, the badguy trying to get the goodguy to turn to the Dark Side, and a goodguy who ends up betraying the rebels.
The only thing it's missing are the parents reveal and a dark ending.
They basically lifted the plot from Empire Strikes Back, and no one noticed. In fact, they praised it for being "Like" Empire.
23. Who is Rey?
Another big plot point from TFA is who Rey's parents are. Obi-Wan? Luke? Lando? But in this one, it's like, nah. I'm good. All that speculation? Gone. Reduced to atoms.More interestingly, I've heard fan theories are what destroyed the Last Jedi. We thought too hard about it. But, on the other hand, Darth Vader was Luke's dad.
And that came out of nowhere.
And, we had all this evidence!She was called by Luke's lightsaber! She mastered the Force easily! She can pilot the Falcon! Just a bunch of stuff you see and think, "Yeah, so, she's like, Luke's daughter or something," which I didn't think was true. I thought she was Han's daughter.
That would've been even better because she saw him die, and that means her brother killed her dad.
It would've been a really strong motivation for her in the Rise of Skywalker. Now it's like, "yeah, she cares because of plot stuff. Typical stock protagonist."
24. What exactly is the force on Ahch-To?
There was a reason for this, I'm sure, but I only saw the Last Jedi twice, and the last time was, like, a year ago. But it was still really weird. To quote Wookiepedia,"Ahch-To was the birthplace of the Jedi Order.
Before the Jedi Purge and the Age of the Empire, Jedi scholars argued that a number of locations could be considered the birthplace of the Order. The scholars argued that Ahch-To, Tython, Coruscant, Jedha, and Ossus could all be considered candidate worlds for the Order's birth and the location of the first Jedi temple.
Despite much deliberation, however, the location of the first Jedi temple was a mystery by the time the Galactic Civil War came to a close.
Following the failed attempt by Jedi Master Luke Skywalker to rebuild the Jedi Order, Skywalker vanished in his T-65B X-wing starfighter and went in search of the first Jedi temple. He entered into a self-imposed exile on Ahch-To, purposely crash-landed his X-wing in a shallow inlet, residing on an island with stone ruins, and cut himself from the Force."
That's Wookiepedia. Wookiepedia. They have detailed articles on everything. And that's all they know. And, if you remember an amazing story arc from the Clone Wars, the Force is basically embodied by two beings, a brother and sister, who both die.Why not go to that planet?
Also, why was Rey called by the giant black hole?
Also, why was this a thing?
25. The film throws away every great plot line the Force Awakens set up
Perhaps the most (General) grievous part of the film was the stuff it threw away. You left the Force Awakens thinking about all the cool things that could come out of that.
Why did Rey learn the Force so fast?Why is Rey so good at piloting?
Why did C-3PO have a read arm?
Why did R2 wake up at that moment?
Who is Snoke?
Why is Luke on the island?
Who are Rey's parents?
Want the answers?
Why did Rey learn the Force so fast?
Because.
Why is Rey so good at piloting?
Because.Why did C-3PO have a read arm?
Because.
Why did R2 wake up at that moment?
Because.
Who is Snoke?
A dead guy.
Why is Luke on the island?
He tried to kill his nephew because of a dream and thought the best way to take responsibility was to go into exile
Who are Rey's parents?
No one.
The Prequels may have had plot holes, but they didn't negate themselves by setting up giant promises and throwing them away. The Original Trilogy took a great movie and gave it more questions, and the Anthology films have been fitting in pretty well on their own.
The Sequels have been going in reverse. They had a cool film with cool plot points (Empire), but then took them and threw them away, like if Return of the Jedi said, "Actually, Darth Vader wasn't his dad," and then he dies or something.
And, when dealing with a fan base as opinionated as Star Wars, it's best not to anger them. We didn't go to see Solo. Take that*.*Solo was actually pretty good
In conclusion, there's a lot going on in the Last Jedi. Most is bad, but some if it's good (Citation Needed).
But who cares, I'm still seeing the Rise of Skywalker in theaters.
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