Alright! Last Monday, May the Fourth, we go the finale of the television show, the Clone Wars. For a bit of background, the Clone Wars is an animated Star Wars series that was revived by Disney+ for a final seventh season. The series takes place between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, meaning it further fleshed out our favorite Prequel characters, such as Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Darth Maul.
Along for the ride are newcomers Captain Rex, a clone, and Ahsoka Tano, Anakin's padawan, who was despised my many critics and fans until the series developed her character from annoying side character to the best female character in the Star Wars universe (And yes, this includes Leia and Rey).
The first four episodes are devoted to the "Bad Batch" arc, which is about a group of clone defects who form their own batch of bads [Citation Needed], and recruited by our heroes, Anakin Skywalker and Captain Rex, to help find the missing soldier Echo, who was believed to be dead. But enough for a plot summary, let's talk about how it was.
Overall, I would say that this was a pretty standard batch of Clone Wars episodes; none particularly stand out, there are entertaining and creative action scenes throughout, and it's pretty standard stuff. The title's the Clone Wars, and oh look, there are some clones.
Your character needs to have their shtick; what drives them, what makes them someone to be fan of. The Martez sisters settle for unlikable character traits. They have terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible poop-shaped hair, annoying voices, and bland character designs.
But she's not like Han Solo or Maverick Mitchell, where she can at least fly well, or has enough quick thinking to make up for it; but neither is she like Launchpad McQuack, who was pretty bad at his job but could at least do it, and was loyal enough to make up for it. Instead, Trace is something new. The boring cocky pilot. This is not something I wanted to see, but here we are.
I would also like to say that the arc doesn't expand the Martez sisters. In the beginning, they're somewhat likable: semi-interesting; promising. At the end of the arc they are unlikable, uninteresting failures, because not only do I resent them for wasting my time/existing, but I also resent the lack of growth for any of the characters involved, be it furthering Ahsoka's already amazing character arc, or the fact that at the beginning of the show, Trace is a naive pilot and what's her face is a terrible older sister, and at the end, they're the exact same, but now they have credits.
Where to begin the praise? Uh, let's see... the animation. The quality of the animation in these episodes is just insane, but maybe that's because it directly followed four episodes of poop hair. I also praise the aesthetic of these episodes, with nearly every scene being what could be a dope screensaver. Just something about the way the characters are framed, the symmetricality of the shots, camera movements, it was noticeably beautiful. There was a level of detail and care that went into these episodes that was astounding.
In the Prequels, when Anakin turns to the Dark Side, it's sad and all, but Anakin was never really likable to begin with. But in The Clone Wars, Anakin is awesome! I commend these episodes for making me actually feel sad about the prospect of Darth Maul trying to kill Anakin. Ahsoka's loyalty to Anakin was awesome and provided some of the best Clone Wars moments of all time.
This episode, in particular, has the best music of all four of them. I especially felt the music in the scene where Order 66 is ordered and all the clones turn on Ahsoka. Why? Because it was the same one from Revenge of the Sith when Order 66 happens, the track Anakin's Dark Deeds. And there was a completely epic moment when Ahsoka can feel Anakin turning to the Dark Side! That was heartbreaking. In the movie, when Anakin says "What have I done?" it's kind of silly. But in the episode, when you hear it... you get chills. This episode actually has my one complaint about any of these four episodes; for about two minutes, Ahsoka is just talking to droids. It wasn't too bad, and I recognized the droids, but it did get repetitive. But, to list one more positive thing, the cliffhanger where the episode actually had me say an audible "No!," and I hate audible reactions.
This episode also had several great emotional beats. Rex telling Ahsoka they had to kill the clones - his brothers - was heartbreaking, as well as the last two minutes. Oh, the last two minutes. I could live comfortably in the last two minutes. They were devastating. First off, we had Rex and Ahsoka burying all of the dead clone troopers, a tribute that was absolutely devastating to watch. And then the last scene... I have a lot to say about the last scene.
I would give the Siege of Mandalore a 10/10. "With a great score, visuals, iconography, characters, dialogue, cinematography, and chilling moments, the Siege of Mandalore succeeds and exceeds on every conceivable level."
But moving on from the quick recap, here are my thoughts and opinions on this new, 12 episode, final season. So, yes, spoilers. Well, actually, minor spoilers for the the first two arcs.
The Bad Batch
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Overall, I would say that this was a pretty standard batch of Clone Wars episodes; none particularly stand out, there are entertaining and creative action scenes throughout, and it's pretty standard stuff. The title's the Clone Wars, and oh look, there are some clones.
I would give this arc a 7/10, with my opinion being "While not a huge drag but neither a masterpiece, The Bad Batch is straight down the middle okay."
Martez Sisters
Next we have what I will dub the "Martez Sisters" arc. The Martez Sisters arc was, to put it in a technical term, bad. But what makes it bad? Well, not the first episode, which was okay, but is worse now that I know what becomes of it. It was nice to see Ashoka and have her... do stuff... I don't remember what she did, but it was neat to have her back! But what made this arc so bad were the titular Martez sisters. You see, for a character to be likable, they should have an interesting personality or complex history, an intriguing demeanor.
Here is where my review is completely set askew by me listing types of archetypes for characters for fun:
Here is where my review is completely set askew by me listing types of archetypes for characters for fun:
- A dope costume (Boba Fett)
- Memorability (Palpatine, Darth Maul)
- Irredeemably evil (Penguin from Gotham, Lady Tremaine)
- Redeemable evil (Darth Vader, Regina Mills)
- Genuinely likable (Charlie Brown, Steve Harrington)
- Adorableness (Baby Yoda, Jack-Jack)
- Flawed hero (Jay Gatsby, Batman)
- Chosen One (Anakin Skywalker, Harry Potter, Paul Atreides, Jake Sully, Aragorn, John Connor, Neo, Buffy Summers, the kids from Narnia, etc.)
- Antihero (Deadpool, Harley Quinn)
- Bonafide Hero (Superman, Captain America)
- Hilarious (Genie, Donkey)
Your character needs to have their shtick; what drives them, what makes them someone to be fan of. The Martez sisters settle for unlikable character traits. They have terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible poop-shaped hair, annoying voices, and bland character designs.
The older sister, who I do not remember the name of, is just the worst. Instead of being the type of sibling that one can look up to (Think Steve Harrington and Dustin Henderson's relationship in Stranger Things) she is a selfish brat, who seems to not care about anyone but herself, and is willing to put her child sister's life on the line because she (The sister) bit a bite she couldn't chew. And by the end of the four painfully slow episodes spent with her, she is... basically the same, but has a different opinion about the Jedi.
The younger sister, Trace, is even worse. While I enjoyed the spiteful interactions between the elder sister and Ahsoka Tano, Trace is just annoying. Her voice is annoying. I hate her smile. She is ridiculously naive and recycles the same "I want to be a pilot" motivation from Solo.
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| This is Trace. Trace sucks. |
She's the type of character that keeps saying that she is ready for things she is clearly not ready for. However, unlike Harry Potter, who did those things anyway but learned something from them, people actually give her the chance to be terrible. She's also not the brightest bulb in the lightbulb box, as she dumped the spice.
In one episode, she dumps the spice, which I'll get to later, but this decision causes an already bloated arc to last two more episodes, and at the end of the day, she still thinks that that was a good decision; by the end of this arc, no character arc happened. They end in the same place they started, two sisters in a garage, with a ship, sometimes working together.
But let's talk about the arc. Perhaps, out of all the grievances I have with it, perhaps the worst thing about it all, is that it takes up four episodes of a twelve-episode season. Not only that, but they were easily condensible episodes, with the third episode ending literally where it started. The episodes also delve far too deeply into spice. I don't care about spice. Spice is dumb. If you want an example of epic space spice, go read Dune.
I would also like to say that the arc doesn't expand the Martez sisters. In the beginning, they're somewhat likable: semi-interesting; promising. At the end of the arc they are unlikable, uninteresting failures, because not only do I resent them for wasting my time/existing, but I also resent the lack of growth for any of the characters involved, be it furthering Ahsoka's already amazing character arc, or the fact that at the beginning of the show, Trace is a naive pilot and what's her face is a terrible older sister, and at the end, they're the exact same, but now they have credits. I wanted something interesting to happen. One of them should've died.
Or both! I'm not picky.
Overall, I give this arc a 2/10. "With four episodes, two awful, awful characters, and one beloved character caught in the mix, the Martez Sisters arc fails on literally every level imaginable."
Siege of Mandalore
But now, we finally have where the fun begins. The Siege of Mandalore, which was so good it is not an arc. It is a movie. I wish it had been a movie, an hour and forty-minute Disney+ original, because, with the Academy Awards allowing streaming films this year, this would have blown all other nominees away, no matter how good Soul turns out to be. Why? Because this was epic. Just ranking these last four episodes as their own thing, I would say that out of all the Star Wars movies, this would rank #1.
Where to begin the praise? Uh, let's see... the animation. The quality of the animation in these episodes is just insane, but maybe that's because it directly followed four episodes of poop hair. I also praise the aesthetic of these episodes, with nearly every scene being what could be a dope screensaver. Just something about the way the characters are framed, the symmetricality of the shots, camera movements, it was noticeably beautiful. There was a level of detail and care that went into these episodes that was astounding.
But let's go through, episode by episode. The first episode, Old Friends Not Forgotten, featuring some amazing, lovely support from Anakin and Obi-Wan, some completely dope action, the subtle foreshadowing of ROTS, and a healthy bit of epic scope, was just a win. For everything.
But, the second episode... that was even better. The Phantom Apprentice managed to be even more dope and epic. I would say that the MVP of this episode is Darth Maul. Darth Maul in this episode was just awesome. It turned him into a far more sympathetic villain than ever before. The dialogue in this episode is just about perfect, with all conversations between Maul and Ahsoka being some of the best dialogue I've heard, especially from the franchise that brought you "I don't like sand."
In the Prequels, when Anakin turns to the Dark Side, it's sad and all, but Anakin was never really likable to begin with. But in The Clone Wars, Anakin is awesome! I commend these episodes for making me actually feel sad about the prospect of Darth Maul trying to kill Anakin. Ahsoka's loyalty to Anakin was awesome and provided some of the best Clone Wars moments of all time.
Another dope thing about the episode? The choreography of the fights. When you have Darth Maul, epic fights are to be expected, but this is just over-the-top epic. The way the characters move, the unique fighting of the double-bladed Maul versus Ahsoka's two separate blades was insane.
The third episode, Shattered, was also epic. This is where the iconography of the shots really becomes apparent; the last ten minutes of The Phantom Apprentice was good, but in this episode, it's just wonderful to look at all the time. There's a scene, about six minutes into the episode, where nearly no dialogue happens for two minutes. And it was barely noticeable because of the amazing visuals and the music - actually, the music in this episode.
This episode, in particular, has the best music of all four of them. I especially felt the music in the scene where Order 66 is ordered and all the clones turn on Ahsoka. Why? Because it was the same one from Revenge of the Sith when Order 66 happens, the track Anakin's Dark Deeds. And there was a completely epic moment when Ahsoka can feel Anakin turning to the Dark Side! That was heartbreaking. In the movie, when Anakin says "What have I done?" it's kind of silly. But in the episode, when you hear it... you get chills. This episode actually has my one complaint about any of these four episodes; for about two minutes, Ahsoka is just talking to droids. It wasn't too bad, and I recognized the droids, but it did get repetitive. But, to list one more positive thing, the cliffhanger where the episode actually had me say an audible "No!," and I hate audible reactions.
Oh, and another thing. The hallway fight scene with Darth Maul... the "Maulway" scene... that was dope.
The last episode, Victory and Death, was also literal perfection. This part of the arc also shines in the cinematography/iconography. There were some visuals in this episode that I know will haunt me to the day I die. But for the actual episode, it starts out very brisk, but gradually slows down to enjoyably fast-paced. I wished Maul had a bigger role in it, but the episode did amazing without him. A thing the episode did well was address what everyone was thinking: If Ahsoka's no longer a Jedi, why are the clones trying to '66 her? Well, luckily, the episode provided an explanation (Good ol' Palpsy gave them specific orders to). That was nice.
This episode also had several great emotional beats. Rex telling Ahsoka they had to kill the clones - his brothers - was heartbreaking, as well as the last two minutes. Oh, the last two minutes. I could live comfortably in the last two minutes. They were devastating. First off, we had Rex and Ahsoka burying all of the dead clone troopers, a tribute that was absolutely devastating to watch. And then the last scene... I have a lot to say about the last scene.
There is little connection between Anakin and Darth Vader. Well, to expound, the character Anakin Skywalker that we meet in the Prequels bears little resemblance to the intimidating Darth Vader. When I see Darth Vader, I don't think, "Oh, look. Anakin Skywalker." I think, "Holy crap, that's Darth Vader."
I can safely say that I have never seen Darth Vader and thought that he was Anakin Skywalker. The tone with which the characters are treated, the villain/hero aspect, the timeline... it never really matched up for me. Even in Revenge of the Sith, when Vader yells "NOOOOOO!!!" That was Vader yelling "NOOOOOO!!!," not Anakin.
But here, in this episode, I can truly say that Darth Vader and Anakin were one. The closing shot of the episode is Darth Vader finding Ahsoka's dropped lightsaber in the snow, next to the memorialized clone graves... instant iconicity. That struck deep. And the image of Darth Vader with a blue lightsaber is dope. Again, with the colors; the black Vader on the white snow planet with the blue lightsaber. All dope.
So, now that I have thoroughly vetted my opinions on all three arcs, I am ready to give my opinion on the season as a whole; it has its ups and downs, its middles, its lowliest of lows, and its high points. Kind of like the actual Star Wars franchise. Just absolute garbage worst at some points, and then fine and exceedingly perfect space drama at others
Overall, I give the season a 7/10. "Season 7 of The Clone Wars succeeds greatly in part to the perfect Siege of Mandalore. But before you get to that, you gotta slug through four episodes of mediocrity and four episodes of dumpster fires. But dang. That Siege of Mandalore arc was the best."
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