Morbius Review!

 Alright! Today I'm reviewing the latest film from Sony's Spider-Man Universe based on Dr. Michael Morbius, aptly titled Morbius. Starring Jared Leto (The greatest actor of his generation and one of the all-time greats), the film is a close, interpersonal character-driven study of this lesser-known Spider-Man villain.

You may be asking - "Mr. Blogger Man, why is this review coming out, like, three weeks after the movie?" Well, the answer is that the showings of Morbius are absolutely packed. I have not been able to get a ticket the entire time due to the popularity of the movie, which had already grossed more than Avatar and Avengers: Endgame combined in its opening weekend. In fact, I still didn't get a ticket. I snuck into the projector room and merely watched the film as it went into the machine. 

Now, granted, there are elements of this film that have faults, namely the 104-minute runtime. For a movie with Morbius's scale and atmosphere, 104 minutes is not enough to truly appreciate the masterpiece. The movie draws you in so quickly it passes in a blink of an eye. It is so utterly consuming that one cannot help but fall in love with the world of Morbius.

Pushing 50 and still looking great.

You also can't help but fall in love with the character. Jared Leto gives a subtle and layered performance as the titular hero, deftly blending the guilt of a man who has taken the Hippocratic Oath and a vampire who needs to kill to survive, a dichotomy that the movie expertly expands upon. I won't jinx it, but let's just say another Joker will win Best Actor.

As Morbius the Living Vampire is himself a supporting character in Spider-Man's stories, the movie makes the most of it and creates an entirely original cast of new characters, such as the main villain of the movie, Milo Morbius, Morbius's surrogate father Emil Nicholas, his girlfriend Martine Bancroft, and two FBI agents whose detective work rivals that of the world's greatest detective.

I mean, really. I thought The Batman was good, but that was just child's play compared to the masterpiece that is Morbius. While The Batman buckled and bent to really push the PG-13 rating, Morbius circumvents this problem by barely having any action or blood, which one might say is a problem for a story about a vampire. But I raise you this - is not Twilight also largely bloodless and PG-13? Morbius is in the same vein.

The film has practically reinvented cinema as we know it, setting sky-high expectations for the superhero genre and likely being career-best work from everyone involved. When once I thought Leto could not top his performance in Suicide Squad, here I stand corrected. When once I thought the Eleventh Doctor would be Matt Smith's career-defining role, here I stand corrected. When once I thought Morbius would be an awful film, I stand completely corrected.

A wise man admits when he was wrong, and I was wrong. Morbius is the movie. And here I thought Easter marked only the resurrection of Christ, but now I see that it has also been the rebirth of my understanding of cinema. The film has made the expert move of disregarding logic, plot, consistency, and quality in favor of Morbin time, and the result pays off. The #Morbiussweep continues to sweep the nation. 

When all is said and all is done, Morbius is sure to go down in history among the likes of M, Casablanca, and Schindler's List as an all-time great of cinema. It's the Citizen Kane of bloodless vampire superhero films starring Jared Leto.

Overall, I give Morbius an 11/10. "Redefining cinema as we know it, Sony's latest film is a kino masterpiece and an Oscar-worthy character piece from Jared Leto, pinnacling the superhero genre and the entire film industry."

Jokes aside, can't wait to see Blade K.O. this dude in his movie's opening montage.