Barbie Review!

Alright! Today I'm reviewing the first live-action Barbie movie, based on Mattel's extremely popular doll line of the same name, which follows Barbie and Ken as they enter the real world in an effort to find the child whose existential dread is slowly throwing Barbieland into chaos. Filled with bright colors, musical numbers, cinematic nods, and an all-star cast, Barbie is a movie for just about anyone. 

That is, except for children. Aside from the brand name and pink wrapping paper, Barbie is an extremely sentimental movie that really speaks to the nostalgia of childhood rather than the joy of childhood. It's full of long, sentimental monologues about the trials of parenting, PG-13 innuendos, and a hilarious subplot wherein Ken is introduced to the concept of patriarchy. It has many good ingredients, but the overall product, while watchable by children, doesn't necessarily feel made for them. It's not a mark against the film, and perhaps it will help the movie age gracefully, but I can't help but feel that a "kids' movie that adults can enjoy" might have been more appropriate than an "adult movie that kids can watch." 

I also question the medium with which the film was made. The over-the-top mannerisms of the Barbies, colorful dance numbers, prop-centered humor,  and elaborate production design often feel more suited for the likes of a Broadway production rather than a feature-length film, with the audience-directed monologues adding to that feeling. While it works well in film form, I imagine an extremely successful (And lucrative) Broadway adaptation isn't too far away. 

But neither of those traits really gives any indication as to the quality of the film. The good news is that Barbie, as far as feature-length advertisements go, is largely enjoyable and always entertaining to watch, mostly due to its impeccably cast leads. After the likes of Amy Schumer and Anne Hathaway had to drop out from playing the titular character, Margot Robbie stepped into the character's high heels to absolutely deliver. There was no possible better choice for the character - Robbie, aside from looking exactly like Barbie, crushes the multilayered performance the film requires. Verbal wit? Physical humor? Emotional scenes? Representing one of the most iconic toys ever? She nails every single thing the film throws at her. 

While Barbie delicately carries the emotional weight of the film, Ryan Gosling as Ken is the real standout here. While part of that acclaim is the fact that his role in the film is inherently hilarious - Introducing Ken to the patriarchy and having his arc culminate in a three-minute power ballad about how he's "Just Ken" - the performance, like so many other things in the movie, could have turned sour if not handled by such a capable performer. He functions both as the villain and the unrequited love interest, a hilarious fish out of water and a self-proclaimed nice guy, all of which is covered in a smear of beach himbo. While I had my doubts going into the film, Ryan Gosling is undeniably one of the best casting decisions of the year (Even if he vaguely reminds me of Freddie Prinze Jr. in Scooby-Doo).

However, Barbie is a movie made of many moving gears, and not all of them are able to completely turn. More specifically Mattel's role in the film, which primarily exists for two or three solid gags but otherwise feels like the only thing haphazardly handled by the movie. While initially introduced as a villainous and sexist board of directors, the movie ends on a rather nebulous tone regarding what their true intentions were, if any, as if Mattel wanted to poke fun at themselves but also wanted to be portrayed in a positive light. It just ends up meaning they dip in and out every twenty minutes or so to be the straw that broke the camel's back during the cluttered third act. 

Additionally, that line of thinking seems to be prevalent in several aspects of the movie. In a blatant disregard for the comedic rule of three, Barbie has maybe four solid jokes and ideas that it repeats over and over again for two hours. While it's not nearly as grating as it sounds due to the gags being integral to the plot, it does make the movie a lot less funny than movies of similar ilk like The LEGO Movie and Elf. Or, more likely, the hour and fifty-four-minute runtime mean the jokes are forced to come at a slower rate than the aforementioned hour-and-a-half comedies.

However, for all the minor issues that are more fun to theorize about than they are legitimate grievances, Barbie is still a sweet movie with several beautiful messages contained inside. While the overarching menace of the patriarchy, while relevant, becomes overbearing at the frequency with which it is brought up, the old-fashioned sincerity of the emotional messages more than make up for it, and I absolutely laud the movie for being thematically relevant for both sexes - It would have been extremely easy for the movie to simplify the premise to "women good, men bad," but it instead offers nuanced messages and payoffs for the societal norms both genders feel the pressure to live up to. 

Barbie is a one-of-a-kind movie - in one fell swoop, we have an advertisement that manages to be as heartfelt as Barbie telling an older woman she looks beautiful (Contender for best movie scene of the year), but also as funny as a group of Kens singing about how they’re just enough. It's cinema in its truest form - simultaneously topical while also capable of filling an entire Wal-Mart aisle with merchandise.

Overall, I give Barbie an 8/10. "Oppenheimer never stood a chance."

I see Production Design and Costuming Oscars in the future. Best Supporting Actor, too, if the Oscars weren't so biased against comedies.