Alright! Today I'm taking a look at Hollywood's latest stab at the Ninja Turtles franchise, and, in a stroke of unassuming genius, it's an animated movie directed towards kids instead of... whatever happened in 2014. With an all-star cast, teenagers voicing the titular characters, unique animated flair, and tons of mutant mayhem, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is the best Turtles movie by default.
The best and worst aspect of the movie is the animation. While its harsh, crude, and misshapen form does wonders for the titular mutants (who have never looked better), the humans of the movie - my word. The best way to describe it is as if a disgruntled Picasso enthusiast sabotaged a claymation movie. Humans are misshapen, ugly, and overall very unpleasant to look at. While one could argue that's the point, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the entire thing is a Twilight Zone twist on expectations - one could also argue that it's just ugly. The potential thematic meaning behind the animation is ruined as soon as the first newscaster comes on with a face reminiscent of Sloth from The Goonies.
On the other hand, the sketchy and graffiti-looking backgrounds made the movie a blast to pay attention to. The neon lights and rough outdoors are primed for an animated Gotham, not everyone's favorite pizza-slinging nunchuck wielders. The animation also looks fantastic on all the mutants, most of which are appreciated deep cuts for the big TMNT fans. The grunge-inspired Bebop and Rocksteady finally get their due alongside someone like Genghis Frog with several awesome action scenes, although the dark lighting that smothers them might make this a hard watch outside of a movie theater. It's rough, scratchy, and somewhat reminiscent of the 70s Disney Xerograph movies.
I was also really appreciative of how, for the first time in turtle history, the gang is actually voiced by teenagers. I had never really thought of this discrepancy, but the minute the first trailer dropped and their high-pitched voices came on, it clicked. It all made sense, and I laud the movie for that. Each voice actor brings a special swagger and realistic teenage vibe to the characters, and the use of modern slang, while likely to age poorly, adds to the effect. These are the Ninja Turtles as you've never seen them before - awkward, lanky, and girl crazy. The mayhem is at its best when they're just hanging out and acting like siblings.
Part of the realistic teenagers means there's also a very real, tangible heart to this story, one of longing and acceptance that's potent and beautiful. While prior Turtle movies focused on the "teenagers" wanting to be accepted by the world above, Mutant Mayhem adds a layer to that message - they don't want to *just* be accepted, they want to be normal. They want to go to high school, have relationships, and do human things that aren't limited to vague wants. The specificity of their desires makes the experience more meaningful and their payoffs more impactful. Even to people who aren't diehard Turtleheads like myself, seeing them team up with the people of New York to take down the big bad was as heartwarming as it was terrifying due to the aforementioned human designs.
However, for every step forward the movie also picked up a grain of salt. It's great that they feel like teenagers - but when that means they do silly recorded dances, learn spinjitzu from YouTube tutorials, and think quipping is to namedrop a celebrity, well, there's also a very grating and mildly irritating nature to the teenagers in a way that's not just "what did you expect, they're teenagers?" Like so many comedies, Mutant Mayhem makes the deadly mistake of thinking a namedrop is a joke, making the movie feel dated upon release.
The villains also have the grain of salt - instead of fighting Shredder for the gazillionth time, actual mutants are the villains here, sharpening the themes of want and acceptance. However, these villains also require us to be robbed of Giancarlo Esposito as Baxter Stockman and swear too much. When Puss in Boots swore, it was hilarious. When Spider-Verse did it, still funny. But like the monstrous human designs, the Turtles took it too far and truly earned the PG "mild swearing" designation. It's still safe for kids but is also a clear warning about the diminishing returns of humorous language.
The two-part finale, one featuring the mutants teaming up to defeat Superfly and the second featuring the humans and mutants teaming up to defeat a now Super Superfly continues with the grain of salt. For a movie that's an hour and forty minutes long, you'd hope that it goes by quickly, and it does - until the finale gets too big for its own good. With the second part being a more exciting, visually interesting, epic, thematically relevant, battle against a kaiju, the rather prologued action setpiece right before it kills the momentum the movie had been building. Perhaps shortening or completely excising the first fold would have alleviated the pacing, but as it stands it's a bearable tad bit long.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is the best Turtle movie by default. Basic competency in its writing improves on everything that came before it, the animation is as stunning as its humans are ugly, and the characterization of the Turtle dynamic has never been better. However, the movie is also indulgent in its finale and topical vernacular, and the human designs are just... the worst. It's still really fun as its own thing, and the Shredder tease leaves you more excited than you'd expect for a sequel.
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