Ranking Every Star Wars Movie

Now that the Rise of Skywalker is out it is time to rank every Star Wars movie. Yep. And it's spoiler-free!

11. Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi

So, when I first saw the Last Jedi, I thought it was good. I gave it an 8.3/10. Then I started thinking about it. Now I give it a 2/10. The Last Jedi is a terrible movie.
The subplot is too long and doesn't go anywhere, characters have no chemistry, Luke Skywalker was ruined, there is too much subversion, and the fact that critics loved it is just wrong. However, I would be lying if I didn't say that the fight scenes were cool (Although choreographed terribly), and the visual effects were top notch.

10. Star Wars: Episode I - the Phantom Menace

The Phantom Menace is too long and too boring. There. The CGI is bad, Jar Jar is intrusive, child Anakin is just the worst, and it's just not that good of a movie. But it was wasn't ruining Star Wars like the Last Jedi did. It certainly destroyed  the reputation of Star Wars, but it didn't destroy Star Wars.

9. Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

The Rise of Skywalker's biggest problem is that it's forgettable. The first half is stupid, the second half weak. The third act is pretty legit. But it's not the home run Star Wars deserved.

8. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Attack of the Clones has some bad dialogue. And bad CGI. But the set locations, characters, moments, and yes, acting, are all iconic right now.
It falls into the "So bad it's good" territory that you don't really see in major blockbusters now a days. That may be what the Last Jedi was going for, come to think of it.

7. Solo: A Star Wars Story

Solo was another forgettable Star Wars movie. But at least it was entertaining. You couldn't see a lot of it (Color palette issues), but it was a good movie. Completely unnecessary, but through and through an entertaining flick.

6. Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

The fact that it's sequels were bad doesn't make this one worse (But not a lot better). I was rewatching Star Wars films before TROS, and I was surprised by how much I like this one. Certainly the best of the sequels, but also very iconic, emotional, and cool.
It takes us back to simpler times when the sequels were full of hope. But this is a good movie. Solidly fun. And it had Han, who brought a lot of humor to the film. And Kylo Ren was pretty cool back then.

5. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Definitely the greatest thing Disney did with Star Wars is Rogue One. This movie is cool. Yeah, it's kind of slow, but that's a Gareth Edwards trademark. He did Godzilla. But when this guy makes a movie, he makes one. The characters are all cool, K-2SO is a mood, and Chirrut is still really awesome. I remember when I would walk around saying "I am one with the force, the force is with me."

Oh, another Gareth Edwards trademark: One scene at the end you'll rewatch the movie for. The movie's starting to wrap up, you think it was an okay film, not great, but then that one scene at the end just pulls it all together into sheer epicness. Godzilla lighting up or Darth Vader's lightsaber lighting up. Doesn't matter, the dude crafts epicness.

4. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

Return of the Jedi is often seen as the weakest of the original trilogy. And yes, it is. It's the most entertaining and uplifting, but it is the weakest, ultimately. Some people really hate it, but I love it. Some people hate Ewoks, but I love Ewoks. They are adorable. But it is a solid hit. It's a good movie. There's not much else I can say. 

The next couple entries are really hard to write little summaries of because they are just so good! It's a lot easier to write a bad review than a good one. You can only repeat yourself so much before you sound like a broken record.

3. Star Wars

I really love Star Wars. Technically called Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, but originally, just called Star Wars. This film is just so iconic and beloved. Every scene is known. There's probably not a frame in the film a Star Wars nerd hasn't memorized. It is just such a good film. However, the third act where they destroy the Death Star is boring, ultimately.

2. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Now the lazy way to say a franchise has gone down a dark direction, The Empire Strikes Back is a great movie. It is awesome, it introduces two iconic characters, great locations, has great music (Imperial March), has carbonite, AT-ATs, Hoth, and Yoda. The movie is great. It is just so great. 
It's nice to see a Star Wars movie that doesn't end with some giant space battle. It just ends (9/11 end with a big CGI battle). 
Actually, it's a really sad movie. It doesn't end with a happy ending, uncommon of a blockbuster and not seen again until the Dark Knight and then again in Infinity War. 

1. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

By far the most darkest of the saga, making it the Empire Strikes Back of Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith is a great movie. The score, the visual effects, the acting (Yes, even Christensen), Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the fights, the choreography, every line, and Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The film has it's moments. And those moments happen to be the entire film.

Everything about the film rocks. Literally nothing is wrong with the movie. Nothing.