Alright! Today I'm going to be ranking the 25 highest-grossing films (Unadjusted for inflation). This is an unusually lengthy list, so stay with me here, folks. These movies range from superhero smashes to redundant reboots to superlative sequels to sequel reboots and two original films... it's either extremely varied or a sad reflection on the modern cinematic landscape.
25. The Lion King
A remake of one of the best movies ever made, 2019's The Lion King is an exercise in CGI and brand recognition. Lacking all of the charm and vibrancy that made the original so amazing, this remake coasts by on CGI cats that look like real cats. Cats, however, cannot emote, and the uninspired voice acting that's inferior to the original in every way leads to a dull and bland experience, only further exemplified by the tan-on-tan color scheme.
24. Minions
Scraping the bottom of the barrel is Minions, one of Illumination's dime-a-dozen movies produced on a budget of $75 million to ensure that even small returns can ensure profits. But this was not small returns - this was $1.159 billion worth of returns. The movie is largely uninspired and unfunny, an unapologetic cash grab designed either to capitalize on Facebook's favorite meme or to explain why the Minions did not, in fact, serve Hitler in WWII (Although a historical drama starring Minions does sound infinitely more interesting than the final product).
23. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
While the first Jurassic World's spectacle and unapologetic campy atmosphere made the movie a solid popcorn flick, Fallen Kingdom carried none of that over. Instead, the movie is built on the plot twists of previous movies, including, but not limited to: Getting animals off the island, hybrid dinosaurs, evil old white dudes scheming to profit over dinosaurs, and leads without chemistry suddenly reversing their ideas on the ethics of dinosaurs. Coat it with some darker plot threads and stupid clone twists the audience doesn't care about and that's Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.
22. Beauty and the Beast
Another Disney remake, the 2017 Beauty and the Beast has its merits, even if it is wholly too long at two hours and nine minutes. Part of what made the original animated classics classics is that they were paced swiftly and never dragged, a characteristic lost on the remakes. While the grandeur and extravagance and clear love for the source material are appreciated, the movie is too derivative, and the feeling that practical makeup for the Beast would have worked better than the CGI taints the experience.
21. Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Without even going into the controversy that follows the eighth Star Wars movie around, because nearly four years of that conversation has been grating, The Last Jedi has an admirable ambition that Star Wars arguably needed after The Force Awakens was so derivative of A New Hope, but the movie goes about it in all the wrong ways. With The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett proving that Luke Skywalker could live up to the hype in a world where he's been idolized for 40 years, it's not that fan expectations were too high, but rather that the movie has objective faults and is inconsistent with previous franchise entries to truly be entertaining.
20. Avengers: Age of Ultron
The inaccurately titled second Avengers movie is bigger, longer, louder, and full of more characters and easter eggs. While the larger ensemble is handled very well, the story sags under numerous plot holes and debatable character developments. Lots of set-up for future movies can be found, but an equally compelling story is infused, creating an interesting balance of satisfaction and incompleteness. The movie's biggest fault, however, is that it runs a bit too long at two hours and twenty-one minutes, with a proportional amount of a bit too much going on in a bit too over-the-top finale where an all-knowing A.I.'s world annihilation plan is lifting a city up and throwing it really hard into the earth.
19. The Fate of the Furious
By no means a perfect or necessary movie, the eighth Fast and the Furious coasts by cool action set pieces and likable movie stars, often hydroplaning out of reality to deliver over-the-top set pieces. What holds Fate back is that it was unnecessary after the emotional ending to the franchise that Furious 7 provided. A rock 'em sock 'em type adventure where hot stars do action cliches is always appreciated when done so unapologetically, but Fate takes itself a tad bit too seriously to hit that delicate balance.
18. Frozen II
After some surprisingly dark and gritty-feeling trailers that promised a more adult and darker tale for an audience that grew up with the first Frozen, Frozen II was not as promised. It's a fairly standard tale that meandered most of its runtime with "cool I guess" plot twists, costume upgrades, and a solid list of b-songs. Like many recent Disney adventures, it lacks a definitive villain, which (Like Encanto) leads to a jarringly swift ending, and the lack of any bite/squandering a potentially powerful message about colonialism is disappointing, to say the least. They had the kindling for a fire but forgot the match needed to be lit.
17. Incredibles 2
The anticipated sequel to the much-beloved The Incredibles is, in many ways, just a watered-down version of The Incredibles. Featuring the same plot beats, darker moments, and message of family bonding as the first one, but with the new trait of seizure warnings. Another potentially powerful message squandered in the animated sequel, there are relevant themes that are never fully expanded upon. The villain, Screenslaver, has a few good points ("Every meaningful experience must be packaged and delivered to you to watch at a distance so that you can remain ever-sheltered") but a derivative plot twist largely reduces their effect to a more familiar tale of revenge. However, hilarious antics with the Parr family are never unwelcome.
16. Aquaman
15. Furious 7
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| +10 Family Points |
14. Captain America: Civil War
While the MCU has made quite the name for itself through bringing superhero movies into a relatively grounded world, it's also just fun to see your favorite superheroes fight each other, logic and reasoning be damned. Were there better ways to solve a conflict? Undoubtedly. Were there better ways to make the stakes higher (Such as the comic's removal of the secret identity)? Yes, there were. But isn't it equally as cool to see Iron Man and Captain America punch each other with just barely enough soap opera drama to justify it? Yes, it is.
13. Iron Man 3
While often maligned by the internet for a controversial Mandarin twist and surprisingly stupid moments, there's still a lot to love about Iron Man 3. For starters, the said Mandarin plot twist is a pretty interesting development for the movie, and certainly a better example of subverting expectations. While the Al-Qaeda-inspired main antagonist likely would have gone down as one of the best superhero villains without the twist, the overall result is still pretty satisfying. Personally, I find the idea of the superhero with the "super" stripped away is interesting, but I digress.
12. Frozen
To the shocked cry of 7-year-old me, who vehemently hated Frozen when it came out in 2013, Frozen is actually pretty good. Overhyped and overplayed to be sure, but at its heart, the movie is a very touching story of two sisters reconciling following the tragic death of their parents. While it doesn't exactly bring anything other than Broadway-sized numbers to the Disney machine, the animation and dual princesses are exciting enough to warrant a fun (If overplayed) adventure, full of memorable lines and heart.
11. Jurassic World
It would be objectively false to claim Jurassic World as a cinema classic or an artistically viable movie that expands the eyes of the viewers with its broad themes and relevant discussions on big business. However, there's no denying that Jurassic World is first and foremost the definitive version of a popcorn movie - hot movie stars in cool action scenes with cool dinosaurs with just enough brutality to make it a fun experience and enough self gravitas to make concepts like "weaponize the raptors so they can win wars for the U.S. military" seem... less ridiculous.
10. Avengers: Endgame
Beloved by fans and the highest-grossing movie of all time for a while, there are a lot of objective problems with Avengers: Endgame, namely reverting to time travel shenanigans to resolve a plot twist, a muddy gray finale, and a mocking way of talking about post-depression weight gain. However, the movie is basically just a three-hour-long greatest hits of the MCU, which, after 10 years of consistently great content, was well deserved and impressively satisfactory for such a wide array of characters.
9. Black Panther
Aside from wondering how a movie made on a $200 million budget ended up with CGI that aged poorly the minute the movie was screened, Black Panther is a relevant and inspiring tale of one of Marvel's greatest heroes, giving the title character the recognition and respect he deserves. The acting, humor, characters, and soundtrack are all perfect - much like how Tim Burton's Batman is the definitive Batman movie, Black Panther goes down as not only the definitive version of the character but an all-time best for Marvel.
8. Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens
The seventh Star Wars movie is, in many ways, the first Star Wars movie. A near shot-for-shot remake of A New Hope with improved VFX and new characters, The Force Awakens is often less than the sum of its parts. Despite legitimate complaints about how the rebels handled governmental duties following the fall of the Empire, The Force Awakens is a pretty solid and fun adventure that was able to reinject the magic of Star Wars into the pop culture psyche after the failure of the prequel trilogy.
7. Avatar
The highest-grossing movie of all time and one of two original movies on the list, Avatar is a thoroughly interesting and visual spectacle from James Cameron. Are the characters memorable? No. Are there any memorable lines? No. Is there at least a cool finale with a super memorable character beat? Also no. But for all of its lackluster memorability, the Na'vi and their plight have entered the pop culture lexicon nonetheless and the much-delayed sequel proves to be highly anticipated.
6. Titanic
The other original movie on the list (And the only one without a sequel in development), Titanic is about the titular voyage of the, well, Titanic. You know the rest. Grounded by an all-time best and scene-stealing Leonardo DiCaprio, looking the best any movie star has ever looked. 50% thematic classism and 50% epic disaster movie, Titanic is 100% steamy romance with a flair for the dramatic, all tied together by a Celine Dion song that's been stuck in your head for 25 years running.
5. Marvel's The Avengers
While I admittedly can't think about The Avengers without getting at least a bit of hype from 8-year-old me seeing the first true superhero team-up on the big screen, the film has stood the test of time regardless (It celebrated its ten-year-anniversary last week) and is still one of the strongest entries in the MCU. As Black Panther and Batman '89 are the epitomic movies for that character, so too is The Avengers the quintessential Avengers movie. With tons of quippy lines, iconic scenes, and the revolutionization of the "Big CGI sky beam while the heroes fight an army of disposable CGI creatures" filmmaking, The Avengers has something for everyone.
4. Spider-Man: No Way Home
The most recent entry on the list and the first billion-dollar movie since the pandemic hit, Spider-Man: No Way Home is a rousing and already greatly beloved adventure with everyone's favorite web-slingers. While homework is required to understand the movie's numerous characters, enough heart and emotion drive the movie to make it work comfortably within the confines of its own universe. The one big criticism is that while the movie moves at a breakneck speed to incorporate all 11 main characters, a half-hour could easily have been added on to provide every character with proper motivation and closure.
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II
The finale and conclusion to the Harry Potter films is as epic as it is emotional, featuring franchise-best performances from the cast and the largest scale action the series had ever seen. While it's easy for these big finales to take their place amongst the greatest due to pre-established emotional connections to the characters and a plot ready to go, Deathly Hallows Part II is just so damn great at all of those things it's hard not to root for it. Being a fan of the franchise makes this finale outing as superb as it is emotional.
2. Avengers: Infinity War
The biggest of big blockbuster movies, Avengers: Infinity War is mostly a testament to ensemble filmmaking. The main cast of about 36 named characters is utilized unbelievably well, with each of them undergoing arcs and plot threads that are all relevant and exciting to watch. Throw in the superb Thanos and his "so big and so stupid it can't not be awesome" plan to kill half of all living life and one of the greatest cliffhangers of all time, and you have a bonafide classic and one of the most satisfying cultural zeitgeists of the 21st century.
1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The finale of the greatest movie trilogy to ever graze the big screen, Return of the King (And, yes, this is the Extended Edition I'm counting) is a conclusive, masterful, action-packed emotional epic that pinnacles the peak of cinema and contains some of the greatest movie scenes ever filmed, balancing inspiring and heartfelt moments with action-packed epic battles and the singular greatest battle between good and evil ever. There’s no negative aspects to be found here, just eight perfect endings, each more perfect than the last.
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